A Tribute to Ms M ..

Salaam...

It is an honor to know that you read my blog, although I am still trying to remember whether I did type anything that I shouldn't be typing in public about you! :P

So today, I would like to dedicate this entry to you, coz I want you to know how much you really meant to me, and how lucky I was, and still am to know, and to have you as my very first girlfriend, my first love....

I realized that knowing you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I really long for that feeling. Loving someone for the first time, and being loved for the first time. The feeling was just out of this world!

Eh jap.. pasal aku dok speaking jek dari tadi? Kang korang ingat gelpren first aku ni minah salleh plak kan? err.. to think about it.. mmg minah salleh pun.. :D jgn marah ek? gurau jek....

I know I did a lot of mistake back then. What could I say, I never really have girlfriend back then, and honestly, I had no idea how to treat one. I can still remember how I wanna treat you back then. When you came and visit me, I would want you to hang out with your friends, rather than hanging out with me, coz I thought, you just didn't wanna be too attached. Thot that you like it if I let you do your stuff, and I did mine, and we only hang out once in a while.

But I was damn wrong! But, I learned little by little from you, on how to treat a girl. I learned what girl likes, the do's and the don'ts, about their minds. I picked up every little thing, and I was able to channel them through to you.

I remembered one phone conversation that we had. At night. I was at Waki's. We spoke on the phone, as usual... hehe.. and you told me that you wanna come over the next day. Which I responded with a negative answer. I didn't want you to spend your money just to come over a weekend. But, with your will power, and your sad tone, you convinced me to allow you to come. And you did, and I went and picked you up from the airport the next day.

And the other phone conversations that I can still remember, was after 2nd week or so from our very first phone conversation. I was at Banjar's, and I told you that I didn't wanna pursue the relationship, coz I didn't wanna be the third person. You cried, and honestly, I got panicked, coz that was the first time a woman cried because of me. Luckily it was just on the phone. But still, I was panicked. I think, toward the end of the conversation, I dropped the idea, and told you that we should move on, right?!

Our relationship started off thru phone conversation, for almost a month. Then we chatted once in a while in IRC. I still remember your nick. Only after almost a month, then we gotta met each other. And you were late! And I am still trying to think how on earth did we really met in the airport that day?! Maybe sebab muka melayu kot kan?! hehehe.. I didn't know whether I did pass you my photo prior to that, but I know I saw yours. Then the magic started!!

If I can turn back time, I wanna go back to summer 1997. The moment when I made my decision to go back to Malaysia for good. How I wish I would've stayed back in the States after I have finished my terms, and be with you there. Do you think things might have been different now?!

But that was the past. We have moved on. I know you are happy with your hubby now. Still remembered when I received the news of your marriage. SHOCKED! But at the same time, bersyukur. I wish you all the best, and moga your marriage will stay blessed forever.

I will treasured our memories forever. And I thank you for everything. I do believe, if it's not because of you, I won't be who I am now. I wanna say sorry for everything, and minta dihalalkan segala2 nya. I know it has been so many years now, but still wanna say all these. And I feel lucky that we can still be friends, despite what happened in the past. You are such a cool person!

Thank you MMS! (bukan MMS enpon tu lee!) Sorry if you don't feel comfy about me writing all these. Lemme know, and I will take it off the blog! seriously. But I just wanna let you know how I really feel.

Ni le Guru aku yang sebeno.. the one who showed me Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.......